The Dentist

Written By: Dan Miller, M.A., LPC, BCPCC

Dolly Madison powdered donuts
They’re no one’s friend
Their hidden effects
I must now contend
I admit their tasty
Gobbling them down
Yet this very day
I wear a condemned man’s frown
To the dentist office
I reluctantly go
Out in the weather
Did I mention in the snow
I sit and wait
My fate is inevitable
My foolish indulgence
Is now regrettable
The dentist warned me
It might need extraction
Some understand
My initial childish reaction
Laughing gas really
I don’t find it funny
I find no amusement
At spending money
Long needles in the gums
I feel the sticks going in
I swear I saw
A fiendish sort of grin
With jumbo pliers in hand
The dentist starts to yank
What is he doing
I think he’s on crank
Graduating to a chain saw
He makes a few cuts
This isn’t carpentry
I think this guy is nuts
He pulls and pulls
I am now in so much pain
I swear this guy
Has definitely gone insane
Full of tears
A grown man starts to shout
I don’t think the tooth
Will ever come out
Blood is everywhere
What an awful mess
Never will I do this again
I truly confess
He chuckles out loud
He boast we’re all done
Let me say for the record
This guy had zero fun
On the way home
I ask my wife to stop
I would like to get some donuts
And a soda pop